Relationship glossaryRelationship glossary

Mental load

The noticing, remembering, and planning around household work, including the parts that happen before anyone does the visible task.

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Tiptoe on iPhone: Us, with what each of you got done this week, everything handled together since you started, thank-yous, Insights, and Thinking of you.

What it looks like at home

Someone remembers that the detergent is low, checks what kind to buy, and makes sure it arrives before laundry day. Buying the bottle is only one part of that responsibility.

The useful distinction

Name the whole job before handing it over. A request to do an errand can leave all the planning with the same person.

Source: Allison Daminger, The Cognitive Dimension of Household Labor (2019).

Read the practical guide: four jobs mental load